14 months

It'll be 15 months in 6 days, so let's get this post going...

I love her so, so much. I can not believe the love and happiness that pours out of me when I see this face.


She is getting huggy. She hugs Pooh, she hugs her doll, she hugs the cats. Anything squishy that she can get her arms around, she will pounce it. And the smiles that come with the hugs, oh man, such radiant, beautiful smiles.


She also is a whiz at pushing buttons now. She can make her Gloworm glow and her talking baby talk.



Oh, these moments that we cherish now because we know they won't last forever. I haven't been able to capture it on film yet, but when she crawls towards something she wants, she swings her head from side to side as she plants her hands with purpose across the floor, and she makes a "nnnnnn" sound that rises in pitch at the end. My little scuttlebug. I hope she'll be walking soon, but I know I'll forever miss the crawling head swings. Speaking of walking, we are not there yet. She will cruise across the house with whatever aide she can get her hands on, be it her Wheely Lion, her Alligator Walker, or a chair, but when Senpai or I try to get her to take a step away from her crutch, she won't do it. Not yet. She is standing independently more frequently now that she is wearing her orthotics, and for that I am extremely grateful. Just one more step.

Developmental and Speech Therapists from the local Early Intervention chapter were here today to see if R needed their services. After they had interacted with R and asked me questions about her for an hour, they told me that they knew within two minutes of walking in our front door that R did not qualify for treatment. She had tracked them across the room when they came in and pointed and babbled. I told them that she said "doggie" and "dog" to the Pokey Little Puppy doll she had picked up during Storytime earlier in the morning. She also can say-- not clearly enunciated, but the meaning is there-- "I did it," "done," "this," and "What is this?" My smarty cupcake. She put puzzles together with the therapists, found hidden toys, and babbled her little heart out (she was in a very talkative mood today). That isn't to say she doesn't need improvement, though. The speech therapist pointed out that R does not imitate, and she doesn't make lip sounds. I've been given lists of words to teach her, the notion to use flash cards more often, recommendations for early learning dvds, and instructions to feed her smoothies through a straw to get her pursing her lips more. I'm on it. As far as the dvds go, I'm not sure I'm entirely sold on the Your Baby Can Read or Bumblebee Kids movies. Amazon reviews are either "It's stellar; it works!" or "It's too boring for my kid to pay attention to." I need to do more research.

So that is the cupcake at 14, almost 15 months. I'm so in love.

For Senpai

Pop music starts playing as a gag, and the comedian walks offstage. The short credits roll. The Netflix screen pops back on the tv, and an intense silence takes over. I was expecting him to get up from the couch and tell me his favorite parts, but when I walk over from my computer in the other room, I see that he has fallen asleep. I sit back down at the computer and start composing this blog post.


He had wanted to go out tonight. He arranged with his coworker, our only babysitter, to come here at 9 pm, then we'd go see some live bands in St. Louis. No one we know, and probably nothing special, but he felt the need to get out of the house and "celebrate Father's Day," as he put it. He must know I don't have anything special planned. I bought him a gift and cards from R and I, I'll be making his favorite meal, but tomorrow is his company picnic, and Sunday he has Reserve duty on base. I don't know how to do special little things to show him how much of a wonderful father he is except to come right out and tell him.


Senpai, we celebrated Father's Day by having you home today. You took off from work and we ate a big breakfast just the way you like it. We went for a leisurely bike ride on a new, beautiful trail that we just discovered today, then we played with R on the well-kept playground attached to the trail. We dodged the monsoon rains at Subway for lunch. After a trip to the bike store, we made it home in time to take a hot shower and get R to her physical therapy appointment. You made such an adorable fool of yourself trying to convince R to walk by scooting around on a wheeled stool while letting her hold the "reins" (jump rope) around your neck. We had dinner, laughs with R, then put her to bed. You read her a story when she was still too excited to sleep, and now you are passed out on the couch after watching a comedy show on Netflix, instead of staying up late hanging with the hipsters in the big city because our babysitter had a family emergency.

What really happened sounds more like celebrating being a father than what you would have liked to have happen.

I know you are afraid of being uncool, losing touch with the social scene, and ending up like the "Dad Life" videos on youtube, but you have nothing to be afraid of. Cool dads do exist, and you are certainly high in their ranks. R loves her Daddy. She smiles so big when you put her up on your shoulders, and she stops whatever she is doing to see you when you come home from work. She talks about you all the time, "Dadada..." You are an amazing father. You are firm when you need to be, otherwise playful and silly, and you know just how to help me out. I hope you love fatherhood as much as it suits you.

I love you so much.

Happy Father's Day <3

Hello, Orthotics

It is time to say goodbye to size 4 soft-soled shoes.


Say goodbye to size 4 strap shoes.


Hello, orthotics. And size 7 extra wide laced shoes.


The receptionist from the orthotic lab called this morning, "Yes, we got R's orthotics in yest... today. When would you like to schedule an appointment to get them fitted?" I had to hold my tongue when she almost said "yesterday." Their 1 o'clock appointment today had cancelled, so I loaded R in the car, met up with Senpai for lunch, then we all headed over to the doctor's office together. It was my first time meeting the receptionist face to face, and I have no idea if she was extra cold with me due to my... displeasure with the delay, or if that's her normal demeanor. We were taken to a room with lots of toys for R to enjoy (who are we kidding? Senpai and I had fun, too), and then a jovial gentleman tried R's orthotics on her feet and shaved off the excess material. We left the room, went back to the front desk to sign off that we received the orthotics, gave a curt nod to the receptionist, then we were on our way to the mall to buy new shoes that would fit around the huge things.



R just recently outgrew size 4 shoes. We had bought her an adorable pair of size 5 strap-closure shoes (seen in pic above) last year at Nordstrom Rack, and I had just put them on her yesterday. Today, we bought size 7 extra wide laced shoes. SIZE SEVEN EXTRA WIDE. The things are humongous on her, but she is able to crawl around without them noticeably holding her back. We didn't even get to choose what her shoes would look like; those were the only ones that would work. I told Senpai on the drive home that it was so surreal to walk into the shoe store-- Laurie's Shoes by Stride Rite-- and get R's feet (correction: orthotics) sized, because I remember being young and walking into Buster Brown with my Mom. I remember what it felt like to step on that cold, metal sizing plate, and how the part that slides up against your arch always tickled. We would choose my school uniform shoes for the year, penny loafers or (my favorite) granny boots. Maybe sneakers, too. And now I'm starting the shoe journey with R. When just picking something off the shelf at Nordstrom Rack won't do, when we need to convince our not-yet-walking baby to bear weight on the orthotic-covered foot placed on this funny metal plate, and get the only shoes available to provide some sort of traction to the slippery orthotics. It's so surreal.



We're supposed to break the orthotics in gradually. She wore them for a little over an hour today, it'll be two hours tomorrow, etc. It's too soon to see improvement from the orthotics, but we are already seeing improvement from physical therapy. It's so funny, I'm in the room with the therapist and R for the entire hour, and it just seems like play. Is the therapist working or playing? It's hard to tell. But then, magically, R is standing without supporting herself on something. I'm right there in front of her, jiggling toys just out of reach, while the therapist holds her feet. I ask, "Is she... standing?" The therapist replies, "Yes, this is the third time she's done it just now." I am amazed. My jaw drops and tears come to my eyes. She can stand without support. It doesn't last long-- she's upright for only a moment before her hands settle back on the beams in front of her-- though that moment is so miraculous. After that appointment on Monday, Senpai was able to get her to do it once more at home. Just once.

There's another physical therapy appointment tomorrow, followed by playing with friends at Storytime. She's got her orthotics and super shoes now. I can't wait to see what she will do.

Subject: orthotics not ready yet

Dear Dr. O,

I am writing to inform you that after you cast my daughter R's feet on Wednesday, May 18th, as of today, June 13th, we still do not have the orthotics. You had told me on May 18th that your assistant, T, would be calling within two days to work out payment, however you did not tell me that the orthotics would not start being made without this payment. T did not call within two days; she called me on Friday, May 27th. At that time, I was under the impression that R's orthotics would be completed by the beginning of the following week-- by your words, "after a week and half,"-- but was dismayed to hear that they had not even been started. I gave T the payment information over the phone on May 27th, and like I said before, we still do not have them. As opposed to the one and a half week completion time you had given me, T said it would take two weeks. I called two weeks later on Friday, June 10th, to see if they were ready yet. T called over to your supplier and he told her they were in the completion stage. I just called today, Monday, June 13th at 2 pm, and a woman named C told me that not only are the orthotics not available yet, but she then had the gall to say that they take two to three weeks. I grow weary of being strung along. It is unlikely that R will take her first steps without these orthotics, and your company has delayed her development by not only almost an entire month to date, but also for who knows how much longer.

I sincerely hope that you do not treat all of your patients this way.

Kyla